He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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