The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
