It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
