Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
