She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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