Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
