It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
