We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Randomize
