and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
