You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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