Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
