It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
