The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
