If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize