No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
