Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
