I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
