she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I need to align my fucking chakras
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
