I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
