I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
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