id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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