I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
