i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
