I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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