shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
i now understand why vodka
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Randomize
