she woke up with a sticky ear
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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