Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Randomize
