we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
