i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
where am i from again
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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