do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
