Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
