I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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