to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
