I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
