Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
