Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Randomize
