He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
