i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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