Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
its liver damage thursday
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