Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
