Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
