is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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