I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
