please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
