Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
and you fell through a lawn chair
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
