Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
