I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
