the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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