they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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