your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I'm passing your future prison.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Randomize
