return my video game
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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