You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
