he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Green mimosas i think yes
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
