OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
