didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
