so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
