The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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