Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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