tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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