to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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