Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
